I HAD A SEIZURE

9 Sep

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you already know this.  On Sunday night, a little before 10:00pm, I had a seizure. My husband and I had been watching TV lying on separate couches, and he made a joke, looked over, and thought I was laughing.  When he looked harder, he saw me shaking and thought I was choking.  My arms had been crossed over my chest, and he picked me up (!)  and tried to give me the Heimlich.  I guess when he saw my face, he realized that I was having a seizure.  He called 911 because I wasn’t breathing, and they talked him through everything and sent the ambulance within minutes.

I don’t remember anything except waking up on the ambulance asking where I was.  They asked me my name, my address, my birthday:  I couldn’t answer anything because I couldn’t remember.  Slowly my memory came back to me, but it was surreal to be asked that, KNOW that I know the answer, but not be able to tell them.

Other than that, I don’t remember a thing about it.  It was mostly traumatic for my husband, who really took the brunt of all of it.  I did end up with some battle wounds:   I bit almost clear through my tongue, twisted my ankle, and tweaked my back.  I tried to nurse all of those yesterday, but I’m really feeling the brunt of the pain today.  And not being able to sing, talk, or practice trumpet is KILLING ME.  They say that the mouth heals faster than any other part of your body, so hop to it, body!  I can deal with the back and foot (although they are pretty damn painful), but the tongue is just really an inconvenience for everything:  the above mentioned plus eating, drinking, or brushing my teeth.

I’ve never had a seizure before and have no family history.  The ER tests couldn’t pinpoint why this has happened, so we’re kind of on the hunt for what’s going on right now.   The reason they are focusing most on is 1) my low iron levels and 2) that I may have bleeding ulcers again which triggered it.  I don’t feel like I do, but they are doing an upper GI next week to be sure, and I have a consultation with a neurologist as well.

Thankfully, there was no repeat yesterday. I rested for most of the day, trying to keep my foot up and iced and my back as relaxed as possible.  Jake, however, had to fix our plumbing.  Not only did he have to be strong for me on Sunday and watch the entire thing, but he had to do hard physical labor yesterday.  I just wanted him to be able to rest, but he has trouble doing that.  I am so extraordinarily lucky to have him as my husband.  Truly.

Today Jake went to work and I am home alone.  I feel fine and I’m hoping nothing happens while he’s at school.  Crossing my fingers that it was just a fluke thing, but also doing a ton of research today about seizures after weight loss surgery.

If you have a seizure as a post-op or know someone who has, please contact me.  I’d love to hear anything you’re comfortable sharing: any medical info you have about WHY you had a seizure as a post-op, when it happened, any info your doctor may have suggested, etc.   I just want to go in fully armed with info, because I know that almost always I have to advocate for myself as a wls post-op because doctors seem to know very little when I ask them questions.  Thanks for your help!

Day 2 of My Pitty Party. Is there hope?

3 Sep

Some of you yesterday read my blog about my +18 lbs regain.  Everyone was really supportive, and I’m thankful that I had a pretty-kick ass group of folks who area always willing to take a few moments of their day to send a quick note to help try and boost my spirits.  You havee no much that means to me, it really is helpful more than you think.

In the afternoon when my husband got home from work, I told him I was changing my diet pronto and going to lose weight.  He generally bucks against that because he really does find me attractive no matter what, but more so, he knows  I get a little cuckoo crazy with weight issues.  His exact response to me was this:

“You don’t eat that much, and really, you can eat whatever you want.  Your problem is that you need to exercise, and you know it.  Then you can eat whatever you want.”  (within reason, of course)

And honestly, he’s right.  I get up, got outside with the dogs and sometimes take them for long walks, but that’s really it.  I’ve stopped dancing, I don’t do even the most basic of exercises, and I’ve gradually stopped going in the pool.   Moving – exercising – I HATE it.  I’m very well aware of what foods, nutrients, vitamins, etc make my body work well. But none of it is going to make a huge difference if I just sit on my ass all day.  That’s going to have to change, and I’m finding it the hardest thing to get motivated to do.

Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque

Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque

But then I had this idea:   I choreographed and taught burlesque and troupe dancing for months, and the weight just poured off.  I’ve considered contacting some local dance studios to see if it’s possible to start a class around here.  I haven’t even attempted that yet, it’s only in idea form right now.

But then I also had another idea:  what about  choreographing some songs, recording the teaching videos, and then maybe approaching the WLSFA about at least a one of song performance at the conference?  My dance troupes have always been open to any man or woman, of any size, any dance background (including NONE) , and making something spectacular with people who just always wanted to just TRY IT.  Try being on stage. With the comfort of many others in the same spot, with costuming (supplied for the most part by me), a real performance to look to, and a goal of getting moving and having fun and totally forgetting that you’re working out.

Here’s a little inquiry into how things used to run.  If anyone of you are full-fledged burlesque performers, you are most certainly welcome.  But for the rest of us the dancing, the costumes, and the “leave a lot to the imagination” is what we focus on.  There’s is no minimum amount of trying (if any at all) to participate.  You can start at any level, and will immediately be welcome with open arms by some of the most fantastic, supportive women you’ve ever met.

I would run the class one of two ways:  1) by renting a studio that people (anyone is welcome) could attend on a weekly basis. There would likely be a small free for the class just to help pay for the rental of the space.   and 2) lessons completely online (free) that both the in-class students at home could use to practice at home, and for those not in SoCal who really, really want to participate.

So here’s the big question:   WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING???   We’ve got a long way to go to April/May 2015, and it would be the perfect way to start.  Of course, the performance aspect needs to be presented  to the WLSFA, but even if we weren’t allowed to do it there, I’d find us another venue.

Please let me reiterate that EVERYONE is welcome.  The beauty of this show is that we celebrate REALY women (and men) of ALL AGES, SHAPES, AND SIZES, who just generally kick ass with their bravery and awesomeness.

If you think you might be interested, please leave a comment below with a way to connect to you OR PM or email me your address using the subject line:  “REAL WOMEN DANCE TROUP.”  (email to: info@divataunia.com)

A few things you may not know behind the scenes:  I run EVERYTHING.  The management, the production, securing the costumes, negotiating the contracts selecting the music, and almost 95 of the choreography.

I also ALWAYS accept performance ideas, music, and other ideas for suggestions.  I want people to feel like that have a real emotional investment in the group.  What started out as 5-6 friends talking about it, ended up in a 50-60 crew show that sold out three times.

If you’ve ever had an inkling to be onstage in a very supportive, loving, and strong friendship group – this is for you, I promise.

If I see interest, I am on it in lickety split time and we will get to work.

Show m your inner diva!

XOXO,

Taunia

UGH. + 18 lbs

2 Sep

Well, shit.

I knew I had gained weight.  I had TWO people ask me “when I was due” this week, but I also knew because my clothes don’t fit, and I’m really just physically uncomfortable.  I’ve just had the perfect storm of menopause really starting to kick in, a change in my medications, and some personal stuff in my life that I’m not really comfortable talking about – all happen at once. (And no, it has nothing to do with my husband – we’re still happy and he’s a peach.)  And how have I dealt with it?   The same way that I always have:  EATING.

I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t me, because I’m still eating fairly small portions – but I’m DEFINITELY eating a lot of junk.  And I’m at home all day working on my computer and not moving at all.  Even taking the dogs for a walk has made me realize that I’m hella out of shape right now.

And I know you’ll all jump in to try and make me feel better, and while I REALLY, REALLY appreciate that, it’s not what I need.  I need accountability.  I need to start eating healthier and moving my body and not giving in to what’s simple and easy.

Yes, I know that in the grand scheme of things, I’m still a “success” at six and a half years out, but if I keep moving in the same direction I will not be. And 183 lbs in NOT cool with me, or my closet.

And by the way, to the two idiots who asked me if I was pregnant this week:  never EVER ask even if you have a single doubt.  I mean, hell, you can look right at me and know that I’m not really at baby-making age any more.  And besides that – though you couldn’t possibly know this – you only asking me if I am pregnant only serves to remind me of the sadness that I can’t have children.  And the absolute WRONG thing to say to someone after they say NO that they’re NOT pregnant is “oh, well you’re bigger than the last time I saw you.”  $^@#$^% @#$^!!!!

I’m directing my anger at them, but I’m trying to not fall into a pattern where I beat myself up and not figure out how to get this weight off.  It’s no secret – I mean, I have to eat better and exercise – but damn, I wish I didn’t have to.  It’s right back to where I started from.

It happens.  It happens to most of it.  If it’s happened to you and you’ve taken the weight back off, I’ve love to know how you did it, where you’re at, etc etc.  And if you haven’t been able to take it off, tell me about that too.  But let’s not beat ourselves up.  Let’s support each other and just do it.  Be healthy. Comments section open…

Chandelier

22 Aug

Today a good friend of mine sent me this video of Sara Bareillis (whom we both love and saw in concert) singing Sia’s Chandelier.  It couldn’t arrived on my computer at a more apropos time.   Today I am searching for peace while I struggle to make it through the day.  It shouldn’t be this way, I have a lovely home, a loving husband, two great little dogs, and musical instruments all around me, but the struggle, the sentiment of the song, it’s all too much.

If I were to guess, most people would say that I’m an upbeat person, which I am.  But something gets in.  Without you knowing.  Something gets in there and eats away at your heart and your mind, and you fight so desperately against it.  Constant struggle, constant doubt, constant grief.  I need to be happy for him.  I need to be happy for them.  I need to be happy for me, but I’m holding on for dear life, and I don’t know.  I just don’t know.

Mental health, it gets ignored – put on the back burner.  For anyone who doesn’t suffer the way we do, it frustrates them/you, they don’t know how to help, what to do, what to say.  It’s like a cancer that creeps into your heart and without any warning, attacks your well-being in only an instant.   People often deal with this through liquor (luckily not my choice), medications (even more unluckily for me as it is), and various forms of self-harm, which breaks my heart

I’d love to romanticize it because I’m a musician and an artist, and isn’t that what all great artists go through?  No. No, they don’t.  The great artists hold on for dear life and claw their way out – to the other side – where there’s peace.

I’m holding on for dear life.  Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes. “

Sara Bareillis does a heartfelt version of this song. She changes just a few of the original Sia lyrics ,and I’m going to take the liberty to change just a few for myself as well. Lyrics are below the photo.  You can also click on the logo to hear Sara’s version:

SARA

CHANDELIER:

Party girls don’t get hurt
Can’t feel anything, when will I learn?
I push it down, push it down

I’m the one “for a good time call”
Phone’s blowin’ up, ringin’ my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop

Throw ‘em back ’til I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, pop

Throw ‘em back ’til I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

On for tonight
‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Oh, I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
On for tonight
‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight
‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Oh, I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
On for tonight

LUNCHTIME CONCERT SERIES PLAYLIST: SEPTEMBER 2014

15 Aug

PROGRAM PLAYLIST

 

PLEASE NOTE:  The Lunchtime Concert Series will be on break from Monday, August 18th, and returning back on-air on Monday, September 8th at the regular NOON, PST!

Join Diva Taunia every Monday for a lunchtime music concert series (NOON PST), featuring some of today’s up and coming musicians and songwriters. If you like what you hear, we encourage you to stop by their website or social media pages and let them know!  All links can be found on the blog at www.divatauniablog.com (just look for the blog entry with the correct concert date).  On each playlist below, you can click on the date to br brought directly to that concert show link.

Our playlist this month:

Monday, September 8th, 2014:

1.  Ghost On A Bridge by Michael Bilotta
2.  Love Is In The Air by  IKE OKANI, AMERICAN DUB MAFIA & ZIGGY SUZUKI
3.  Get Skull Funked by Now and Because/Frixos
4.  Don’s Techno Mash by Don McPherson
5.  I Am Not A Man by
Lena Fayre

Monday, September 15th, 2014:

1.KRM with Show Me The Way featuring Rylee Harper

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Bookmark this page – more artists being added to the playlist soon!

Don’t forget to sign up for our mailing list HERE (we don’t spam – ever!)

Our show is sponsored by Wellesse Liquid Vitamins!

ARTICLES I HAVE WRITTEN

12 Aug

I thought I’d do a quick round-up of my recent articles posted on the Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery Blog and Vital to Health Blog at Wellesse.com. I’d love for you to stop by and read some of my articles, and commenting would be even better!  Also, if you have a topic idea that you think I should cover, please leave it here in the comments or shoot me an email at info@divataunia.com. Thanks!

 I’ll also be posting some information about some contests being held right after the blog summary:

wellesse_header

The Awful Art of Comparison – published on 07/24/2014

Clap Along Now – published on 07/10/2014

Dancing For Cardio Exercise – published on 07/01/2014

Fighting Perimenopause – published on 06/19/2014

SHAPE Magazine Article Musings – published on 05/27/2014

Fat Acceptance vs. Your Value – published on 05/14/2014

Grainy Weather – published on 04/28/2014

Where Do I Fit In?  Average, and that’s OK!  – published on 04/14/2014

The Shape of Things To Come – published on 03/31/2014

Additions and Subtractions to Your Diet After WLS – published on 03/21/2014

Pizza On The Brain – published on 03/04/2014

The Unsolicited Advice Syndrome – published on 02/21/2014

Pregnancy After Weight Loss Surgery – published on 02/04/2014

What Would I Have Done Differently? – published on 01/27/2014

CONTESTS!

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And coming soon:  Wellesse and I will be hosting a WELLESSE IRON CHEF Contest!  We give you four ingredients, you give us your best and most creative recipe to win a prize package from Wellesse!  I’ll keep you posted on that one.  :)

Bariatric Wednesdays Radio (8/6 @NOON PST) – Guest Host Dagny Kight

31 Jul

 

The Backstage Pass Radio Program is sponsored by Wellesse Premium Liquid Supplements.  Visit them today at www.wellesse.com 

 Read Taunia’s articles on the Wellesse Vital to Health blog!

Every first Wednesday of each month (always at noon, pst), our show is dedicated to bariatric, weight loss surgery, and weight loss topics.  This week, my good friend Dagny Kight will be filling in as host for me. Dagny is an active health and wellness advocate and the author of Powerful Hunger.

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Today’s program is all about well-known sayings and what they mean to you, or how the make you feel, and we’d love for you to discuss this on the show.  The phone line and live chat will be open that day, or you may leave comments on the blog here.  Examples:

  • We’ve all heard “Diets don’t work.” What do you think most people think of when they hear that phrase? Do they take it literally? What does it mean to you?
  • .A widely-recommended weight loss strategy is “Think like a thin person.” How does that make you feel? Do you think it’s a legitimate strategy for losing weight? How DO thin people think??
  • When people hear “Weight is not an indicator of health” they often interpret that in different ways. What does it mean to you? What do you think most people believe it means?
  • What do you think people mean when they say “Weight loss surgery is the easy way out. It’s cheating.” Why do you think people use this as an insult? There are a lot of angles to consider with this one!
  • What does “Fat Acceptance” mean to you? It’s closely associated with “Health at Every Size.” The Association for Size Diversity and Health lays out specific principles for FA and HAES but they are interpreted many different ways. Tell us what they mean to you and how you think others view FA and HAES.

Read more: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/divatauniaradio/2014/08/06/guest-host-dagny-kight–bariatric-wednesdays#ixzz394PSgXnY

 

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