SORRY ABOUT THE CRAZY MUSIC IN THE BEGINNING! LOL
Yesterday I met the man I am going to marry.
I had my pre-op appt at the hospital, and when my name was called, I looked up to find the most handsome and lovely man I have ever seen. He was the Resident and his face lit up with a big smile when I said hello. He shook my hand and introduced himself and I swear to you, it was love at first sight.
The funny thing is, he was SO cordial. He stopped and motioned for me to walk first through every doorway – very “datelike.” It was really cute. He also seemed just slightly nervous to talk with me, and not in an “I’m just an awkward person” kind of way. It was more of a “I think she’s cute and I’m nervous” kind of way.
He explained the procedure and I kept cracking jokes and making him laugh. After a little while, he did the flirty “touching the arm” thing when he was talking to me! I was thinking to myself “you are SO not supposed to be doing that, but I don’t care!” lol He also asked me about my gastric bypass, and I told him I was down 75 lbs now. He then said, “Well, I have to tell you, you look great.” Awwww, *SWOON*!
Then he dropped a bomb, “I’m going to be doing the surgery with Dr. B (the chief of surgery).
That means he’s going to see my vagina before we ever go on a date! The surgery we decided on has them taking out the old stent I have now (thank GOD) and going up with a laser to destroy those little bastard stones. And of course, they have to go in through the vagina. Not a great way to start our romance, eh?
Anyhow, I decided that after the surgery is over I’m going to give him a little card and ask him out to dinner and give him my number. That’s my usual way of approaching things….kind of fraidy-cat way of doing it, but at least I’ll get an answer either way.
But mark my words, this is the man I am going to marry!
Well, I was back in the hospital again on Friday. I was having massive pain in my abdomen and I had this wacky situation where I may not have had insurance for the month of June (more on that later), so I got myself in there pronto. I started having serious pain again on Wednesday, and all through Thursday. I was trying like hell to ignore it, but Thursday night and Friday morning had me vomiting, and I hadn’t eaten in three days, so I knew at the very least I was getting dehydrated and that I should go to the ER.
First, let me be clear: this is NOT a complication of the gastric bypass surgery. This is a pre-existing condition that I’ve had for a long, long while now that’s just come to fruition. In fact, from the two CT scans that I’ve had, my whole gastro-intestinal system is looking super-good. Unfortunately, my kidneys: not so much.
This time, one of the ginormous kidney stones blocking my kidney broke off, thereby causing MORE pain and bleeding. The pain was so intense it was making me vomit. I seriously wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It’s so horrible. The next step is kidney surgery. They’ll go in from my back into the kidney and take out all of the junk. They can’t let it pass because 1) it’s too big 2) it’s too much 3) it would be too much stress on my body and something bad would happen to me. So, under the knife I go again. I’m racking up some serious frequent flyer miles here, and pretty soon I should be due for a free surgery! (my breasts will thank me for it later when they’re being reconstructed)
So the insurance debacle: my Commonwealth Care program cut me off at 6 months because I make too much money now. Fine, whatever, I’ll pay a chunk of money. The issue was, I didn’t think I would get the new insurance in time. I got the paperwork and check off at the very last second, and I thought for sure that the month of June would be spent uninsured. But YAY! I got a letter on Saturday saying that I was approved and that my coverage started on June 1st. For the lovely price of $339 a month. Fabulous!
Anyhow, I’ve been pretty depressed about all of this lately. Not a day goes by where I’m NOT in pain, NOT nauseous, NOT tried and lethargic due to lack of food and water. It’s seriously sucking the life out of me, and I’ve been crying for a week now. I do my very, very best to be positive and upbeat, but this is just too much to handle. Thank GOD that my insurance has kicked in and I can schedule this surgery ASAP.
Anyhow, a friend of mine sent me THIS VIDEO. It’s amazing what the power of music can do. I mean, my situation still sucks and this doesn’t change it at all, but listening to Johnny Nash sing, and REALLY listening to the lyrics gives me a feeling of hope and happiness:
Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
As soon as this operation is over, this is going to be my theme song, I tell ya. And I’ll be singing this myself until then….