Diva Taunia's Backstage Pass Official Blog

WEEK 60 & a QUICK HELLO

THE POWER OF AMBIEN

For a long time now, I've had a lot of trouble sleeping.  I know how important sleep is to overall health, and so I called my doctor and asked about getting a perscription for Ambien.  She perscribed it, and I went online to check out if it's addictive or not - and it looks pretty safe unless taken in large quantities.

One of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster, has mentioned several times in her book that after taking Ambien and a wine chaser, she does ridiculous things that she can't recall...like ordering Barbie makeup heads online and having them shipped to her house.  While it's pretty scary that you can completely blank out like that, it's also kind of funny to think about Barbie heads being delivered with no recollection of ordering them.

Anyhow, I don't take any other medication if I'm going to take an Ambien, and I most certainly do not drink.  And I'm here to tell you:  AMBIEN IS AMAZING.   Within 30 mins, I'm fast asleep.  I sleep straight through the night and wake up completely refreshed:  BING!  7:00am, and I'm ready to go.  I love this stuff.  Except...

A few nights ago, I was feeling queasy all day.  Sometimes if I take pills, it triggers a gag reflex and I throw up.  (Yes, you're welcome for that graphic description.)  After I took the Ambien, I tossed my cookies.  I waited about 30 mins and I was still wide awake, so I decided I must not have gotten the Ambien in my system and took another.

BIG MISTAKE.

I was out of my tree and don't recall any of what happened after that.  Except I have proof, via text messaging with Rob.  For your amusement:

ME:  I vshould not be left home alone witjh these pills...its seriously messed up in my head right now

Rob:  I'm about 15 mins away

ME: Oh jeez...get ready to rhumble!

Rob:  Huh?

ME:  Exactly

Rob:  What r u talking about?

ME:  I'm about to I...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Out cold.  I actually fell asleep ON my cell phone. 

So while one Ambien is the answer to my sleep-deprived prayers, TWO erases portions of my memory (and common sense) and makes me forget how to spell.  (I do think it's funny that I spelled "rumble"  like "Rhumbus")

Needless to say, I skipped the Ambien last night.  I'm only going to take one when I *really* can't fall asleep.  I mean, hell, who knows who else I'd be texting in the middle of the night?? 

At least I didn't order any Barbie heads online.  :)

FRAH-GEEE-LAY!**

Today I was watching Ellen, and the new foxy-momma Biggest Loser, Helen, was on.  She lost 140 lbs on the show, and is a lean, mean 117 lbs of super-sexy sass at 48 years old.  When you see her, she's so tiny, but completely JACKED.  She looks tiny, but strong.  Badass!

Now rewind to a message that I got from a good friend of mine this morning.  I love, love, love her and she's a truly dear friend.  We've been discussing my current issue with losing weight and/or keeping weight on, and she said (in a very supportive and loving way), that she was concerned because I look "fragile."   As much as I've been through in the past year, as sick as I've been, and as much weight as I've lost, I never thought I was (or could be) "fragile."

For as long as I can remember, I've always been sturdy and strong.  Of course, I was as big as a house, so sturdy and strong comes with the territory.  Despite being very overweight and unhealthy, I still considered myself young and strong, and I think most other people did too. 

Reading the word "fragile" made me do a double-take this morning.  I suddenly realized, "crap, I AM fragile."  I can barely lift a gallon of milk.  Walking up stairs?  I may as well be running a 26 mile marathon - it feels equally arduous.  The simplest of tasks involve a great deal of energy and resolve these days.

Now granted, my body has been through a LOT.  I mean, I ALMOST DIED.*

But honestly?  I'm not doing enough to get strong.  I know I'm not.  I know what I'm supposed to be doing: 

• 3 protein shakes a day IN ADDITION to my normal meals
• increasing my caloric intake (say WHAT?? I still can't wrap my head around that)
• taking my multivitamins
• exercising - building muscle and bone strength

So what have I been doing?

• Protein shake, occasionally -(and occasionally is used VERY loosely here)
• taking 1 of the 4 multivitamins I'm supposed to take a day (in my defense, my tummy is still very sensitive and they make me queasy sometimes)
• exercising?  does getting out of bed and cleaning the house count?
• eating more - yay!  one out of four ain't bad, no?  no.

I think I was telling myself that I was doing well because overall I'm feeling better, but I really need to be much, much more focused on my overall nutritional health.  Helen from BL was saying what we've heard a million times:  we need to make time for our health a priority.  Dangit, Helen, you're right!

And as inspired as I was by Helen, I think what really got me motivated was seeing the word "fragile."  Never in my life have I been called that, or WANTED to be seen as that.  I have always loved my strength and sturdiness, and I don't like being weak, having to rely on Rob to do things (as simple as opening a jar, for cripes sake!), and just plain not taking care of my health.  I didn't get this surgery to be unhealthy, so what the hell am I doing?

I know, I know...I've been recuperating and it takes time, but I have to commit myself to getting better all around - including my newly arranged plumbing.  Consider this a wake-up call to myself.  I'm going to get back to badass, back to strong, back to healthy, and back to living, yo.

*That was just for you, Rob & loved ones.  You know I'm going to play that "I almost died" card for at LEAST a few more months!

**Bonus points if you know where that little pronunciation is from!

WEEK # 58 - PLUS ME PIMPIN' SOME EBAY!

NEED AN ADJUSTMENT?

First, let me just say that I searched all over the world wide web to find a video shot of this, but I could not.  Probably just as well, because you'd be completely appalled like I was.  Here's the scene:

Rob and I were in the living room watching The Celebrity Apprentice like we do every Sunday.  Clint Black** had just gotten fired, and Jesse James and Joan Rivers walked back into the "green room" together having a discussion.  All of the sudden, I yelled out, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Rewind that!"  (We have DVR, and oh yes, I love it so.)

I said, "I think Jesse James just adjusted himself in front of Joan Rivers and like uh, MILLIONS of people watching." We rolled it back and sure enough, he grabbed his junked and moved it around.  SERIOUSLY?!?!

Rob burst out laughing because he couldn't believe it either.  This, of course, brought on the inevitable "do you guys think people CAN'T SEE YOU!?!?!" discussion. 

I mean guys, come ON!  I get that sometimes you're uncomfortable or sometimes you've got an itch or something...but have some decorum!  And for the love of all that's decent, DON'T adjust your junk on Donald Trump's show in front of millions of people and the fabulous Joan Rivers!  Excuse yourself, go find a restroom, or at the very least, turn the corner where no one can see you.  GEEZ!

And for the record, I don't get the Jesse James-married-to-Sandra-Bullock thing. She seems like a really kooky and fun gal that's full of life (and obviously super-talented in front of and behind the camera), and he seems like a big sack o' boring to me.  I mean, yeah, it's great that you've become this huge success from your blue collar background (he pushes that hard, yo), but you're married to a Hollywood hottie and have a gazillion dollars....can't you have a *little* more zip in your step, huh??

But besides that, Jessie James, the very last thing I want to see on the show (which I'm already watching against my better judgment and use of time), I DON'T want to see you grab yourself and shake it all about, mmmkay?

**PS.  I thought Clint Black was awesomeness.  He just seemed like a nice guy to me, and I felt like Jesse picked on him too much, which made me want to punch him.  Probably in the junk since he's throwing it in my (and everyone's) face anyways.   Poor Clint got too much flack.  Plus, I liked his grandpa glasses.

WEEK #57 WEIGH-IN RESULTS