Diva Taunia's Backstage Pass Official Blog

MOTIVATION CAN'T BE "FOUND"

Ok, I'm admittedly a little Susan Powter crazy right now.  That being said, I think the woman is amazing and in written word, can inspire like no other.  I just read this (from "The Politics of Stupid," on finding motivation):

"Motivation exists, but not anywhere you've been told (sold) it is.  There is only one place motivation is, and it's bountiful.  As much motivation as you will want or need is waiting for you.  Not to bump into it...to tap into it.   All the motivation you'll ever need if found in the process of doing...because motivation IS in the process of doing.  Something that is worth repeating fifty times.  Motivation is in the process of doing, period, the end.  Whatever it is, doing it is where the motivation is."

BRILLIANT.

And I could not have read this at a more appropriate time.  And people, this applies to much more than weight loss:  it applies to LIFE.  Let me tell you what happened to me yesterday:

I had a little breakdown.  I cried.  I mourned the loss of me.  In this past year, I've taken on many things:  weight loss surgery and the weight loss, very scary and real health issues with my kidneys and the numerous hospitalizations, blood transfusions, near-death ("I almost died!" X 3 months, I'm still milking it, friends!) close calls.  I took on a new boyfriend, a new home, and two new children in my life.  All of these things are big.  And life-changing.  And required not only my head, heart, patience, and time, but required me to give up some of the things in my life that made me happiest.  And the biggest thing I gave up?  Music.

I cried yesterday because I lost myself when I lost my music.  I broke down in front of Rob and he reminded me of all the challenges that I've had to deal with and that I just spread myself (pun intended) too thin.  I needed to get well, yes, but there were many things I took on that I didn't need to.  In part, it makes me happy to know that I give and try to take care of others and care for others, but it also makes me sad that I don't take the time to make sure *I'm* happy and take care of what *I* need (beyond nutrition and health).

I don't know why it suddenly struck me yesterday, because I've been thinking and trying to find my motivation to start making music again, but health issues and fear of being away from it all got in my way.  So today, I got up and just started DOING.  I immediately posted an ad on Craigslist looking for local musicians.  I started formulating a plan for booking, for shows, for new music (I've already written a bunch).  I set up an audition Wednesday for the show "City of Angels," and I've been rehearsing the audition music. I started working on my press kit, and organizing, and contacting, and moving and shaking.  And tomorrow night, I'll be heading out to my friend Jim Zaroulis' piano bar to get up and sing and make music in an informal and fun environment.

And do you know what?  DOING makes me happy.  It's positive, it's forward, it's motion, it's motivation.

After my morning of making music happen, I read the above passage and realized YES!  The motivation IS in the doing.  It's so SIMPLE. Once you do, you're motivated.  It happens. 

I know I sound like a self-help junkie right now, but man, after the crappiest year of my entire life, it's nice to feel happy and positive again.  It's nice to know that I still exist, that my music can still exist.

And I'm HAPPY.

And DOING.

And MOTIVATED.

So, my friends, the DIVA is back...more motivated than ever!  I'll keep you posted about the outcome of the audition and let you know once my shows are booked and my new website is up.  Thanks to all of you for your constant support, love, and friendship.  Y'all rock...and hopefully 2009 (the year of music!) will too.  :)

MAKEUP TIPS?

FOOD ADDICTION / FOOD OBSESSION

I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO PASTRY HEAVEN

Disclaimer:  for my WLS peeps, or any of you trying to lose weight and/or dieting, I suggest NOT reading this post.  Fo' serious. 

I am fairly certain that I died and went to a big, flaky, chocolate-y heaven this morning:

Last night, Rob and I were cleaning out our fridge and freezer (if they gave out awards for keeping bottles of salad dressing and mustard from 10 year ago, we'd win gold medals).  We happened upon this box that I bought at Trader Joe's a while back and decided to make them for breakfast today.

These do require a bit of planning:  you need to take them out of the box, put them on a greased and covered cookie sheet, and let them rise overnight.  But I swear to you:  they're worth it.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

When you first take them out of the box all frozen-like, they're tiny, and you think for $3.99 a box, you got robbed. NUH-UH.  They grow to big-girl proportions overnight when they rise.  Seriously, this is like "Croissants for Dummies."  It could not be easier to make them:  let them rise overnight, throw them in the oven (350 for about 15-20 mins) while your coffee is percolatin' and voila'!  You've got bakery-quality, ass-growing croissants ready to start your morning. And at approx $1 per croissant, it's a BARGAIN.


These were the best thing I've ever had from TJ's.  In fact, these may very well be the best croissants I've ever had in my ENTIRE LIFE.  They come out of the oven hot and flaky and buttery and chocolate-y...omg, I want to go eat all of them.  Thankfully, my tiny stomach will not commit to that endeavor.

Tips:  the box suggests an egg-wash over the top, which I did and made sure the croissants were golden-y.  (Egg-wash = 1 egg beaten with a little bit 'o water brushed on the top of the unbaked croissants).  I also suggest a little powdered sugar on the top.  I mean, your gut is already enjoying the sinful goodness, why not make it extra-awesome?

Go get yourself some of these NOW.  Unless you're trying to watch what you eat...in which case, I suggest never going to Trader Joe's again so you and these buns of chocolate awesomeness do not ever cross paths.