Last night on the radio program, we had a great discussion about the word fat, obesity classified as a disease, and size acceptance. There were lots of varying opinions on these topics, and for me, I'm remain undecided about a lot of issues. One comment, though, still has me thinking today. I'm hesitant to talk about it, because I don't want anyone to feel singled out or feel as though I'm picking on them, but I think it's something worth discussing more.
A woman sent me a message to read on air that said this:
i wanted to say that fat is nothing to be ashamed of. my daughter and i
are very large and we feel no regret or remorse or shame. in fact, im
thrilled at my measurements today(Note: she had also mentioned that they were both 700+ lbs)
I was immediately conflicted by this message and remain so today. I think this is part of the reason why I have issues with the term "fat acceptance." While I fully support the theory that everyone should be accepted in our society despite race, size, height, sexual preference, color, etc, I don't think it should be at the risk of health. At what point do we stop being polite and start being responsible with our opinions?
To me, I feel like this is a difficult thing for me to address. My views were exactly the same when I was 303+ lbs, but I feel like now that I weigh 135 lbs, it could be viewed as me being prejudice or even condescending. But regardless, I have to say what I think: while I am happy that there is self-acceptance in both the mother and daughter's self-view, I think that last statement is irresponsible....particularly in the mother's case.
There is just no way that any human can be healthy at 700+ lbs. It's medically impossible.
My issues with the term "fat acceptance" is that while acknowledging that no one should be subject to social injustices, it's easy to take the personal responsibility portion out of it. To say that you're "thrilled" with measurements at 700+ lbs just illustrates my point: it's not about social acceptance, it's about numbers and size.
I think there's a difference between "accepting fat" and social acceptance. To me, accepting "fat" is dangerous: it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle that can be detrimental to quality of life in SO many ways. Additionally, and speaking from LOTS of experience with this, it gives the overweight person a reason to wash their hands of personal responsibilty with their own health.
But more bothersome to me is that someone would allow their own child to endure this. Not only does their child have to bear the social injustices, but they are clearly not learning healthy behaviors and lifestyle choices. Knowing firsthand how cruel society can be to overweight children, this absolutely breaks my heart.
Let me be clear: I fully support social acceptance of people from all walks of life. NO ONE should be ridiculed, no one should be subject to social injustices and/or cruelties. However, I do strongly believe that everyone should be trying to live a healthy and long life and most certainly should be making sure their children learn ways to have the best quality of life possible.
Let me also be clear that I do NOT think weight loss surgery is the cure for everyone. I still firmly believe it should be a last choice. I know there will be lots of people who argued that I "cheated" and that I have no right to make the statements I've just made. I'll quote a gal from obesityhelp.com that said, "Who did I cheat? Death?" I made a choice to better my quality of life and better my health.
Someone else commented on my Facebook thread and said that they do not like the terms "size-acceptance" and "fat-acceptance," but fully embraced the term "self-acceptance." I couldn't agree more. And I think if someone TRULY has self-acceptance, they accept that they need to work on their health and make positive choices for their life.
For me, it all comes back to the saying that no one will love you until you love yourself. And I think loving yourself means making choices that will work towards a better quality of life.
Thoughts?
