Do you read Rob Portinga’s Former Fat Dudes Blog? If not, you should. :) Please visit him at www.formerfatdudes.com and bookmark him – you’ll be happy you did. I’m re-blogging one of his most recent entries about the question “Why?” Ask it, because it’s important.
For all of us – no matter what point in the weight loss surgery journey we’re at – this is probably the most important question we can continually as ourselves to move past our often-times destructive behaviors. Kudos to Rob for reminding us that the limits us physically, and it is up to us to modify our behaviors – as task that we’ll be most likely working on for life. I’m just glad to have people like Rob to help support me in that life-long journey.
Originally posted on FormerFatDues.com on January 24, 2012:
I think anyone who has had kids, babysat kids, has had young kids as nieces or nephews, whatever… we all know that kids reach a certain age and they go through the “why stage”. Where it seems like the only word in their vocabulary is “why?”. I don’t need to give examples, you know what I’m talking about. And I think we all get to that point where we break down and answer “because”. “Because it is.” Because I said so”, and so on.
Well, I think we all need to revert back to childhood a bit and start asking “why?” a lot more.
If you’re a pre-op, you are going to be getting a ton of information thrown at you as you prepare for bariatric surgery. Please, don’t ever be afraid to ask why. Why can’t I can drink with my meals? Why do I need to focus on protein first? Why do I need to take so many supplements. Ask away! Knowledge is power. The more you know, the more prepared you will be. What other cliches can I throw at you here?
I’m serious though. Ask questions… of your doctor, your nurse, your surgeon, your peers. Especially your weight loss surgery peers – most of us never get tired of helping others down the wonderful road we’ve taken ourselves.
But asking “why” doesn’t stop there. Last year I took a bit of flack on a forum out there for asking “why”. See, someone had posted a question asking how soon after surgery before they could start drinking wine again. There were the usual answers.. “at least a year”, “what does your surgeon say”, things like that. But I felt there was a key question missing there. “Why?”
With everything we put ourselves through in order to prepare for, get through and survive this surgery…. why… why would you want to even consider alcohol in those first few months after surgery? Alcohol has absolutely no nutritional value, it is nothing but liquid calories at best, and an activity that can have much more severe consequences post-op at worst. And I’m not even going to get in to possible addiction issues.
Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you not to drink, we’re adults. I’ve drank. But I was about 16 months post-op when I had my first beer and I had been at a pretty stable weight for 5 months at that point. And in the nearly two years since… I probably haven’t had enough to fill up a case yet. So yea… I’m not saying abstain entirely, but c’mon.. during that time when you’re losing… just… why?
And with some of the recent hub-bub going on regarding my doing the 5 Day Pouch Test, I was reminded of this simple word, why, once again.
Kaye Baily, the author/founder of 5DPT left a nice comment for me on my most recent posting and she basically (intentionally or not, I don’t know) reiterated my own feelings that it’s not the test itself… but rather why. Why are you deciding to do something like that… something that to many is no better than any number of the crash diets so many of us tried time and time again before surgery.
Just like we all have different reasons for having had surgery in the first place, we can have varying answers to a question like that… and I while I have my opinions… like the above one about drinking after surgery… and even these answers are not always absolutes. Given the popularity of that funnel video one would think I’m the king of not drinking after meals, but I’ll be honest here – there have been times where I break the 30-minute rule.
Shocking, right? But for me it’s not about the what, it’s back to the why. Simply put, I was thirsty. I made a conscious decision, knowing I would likely have to be extra cautious of impending hunger because of that decision to take a drink of water. I wanted to take a drink, I was a aware of the why behind it, and can live with that decisions – no regrets. That’s not to say asking “why” gives you a free pass to breaking the rules, but I think for many of us, being more aware of not just what we do, but why, it keeps us so much more in the game than we ever were before.
So yea, while I have to say my answers are generally pretty damn good ones, I also can’t forget that they’re not the only ones. And what “works” for me… may not work for you. But to never ask the question, to never look at the why, is to continue to blindly stumble through things, never learning to make better decisions.
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