Ending the year with a not-so-great weigh-in update, but hopefully I’ll start 2015 with a much better one.  I have to remember to always focus on the positive.  :)


If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you already know this.  On Sunday night, a little before 10:00pm, I had a seizure. My husband and I had been watching TV lying on separate couches, and he made a joke, looked over, and thought I was laughing.  When he looked harder, he saw me shaking and thought I was choking.  My arms had been crossed over my chest, and he picked me up (!)  and tried to give me the Heimlich.  I guess when he saw my face, he realized that I was having a seizure.  He called 911 because I wasn’t breathing, and they talked him through everything and sent the ambulance within minutes.

I don’t remember anything except waking up on the ambulance asking where I was.  They asked me my name, my address, my birthday:  I couldn’t answer anything because I couldn’t remember.  Slowly my memory came back to me, but it was surreal to be asked that, KNOW that I know the answer, but not be able to tell them.

Other than that, I don’t remember a thing about it.  It was mostly traumatic for my husband, who really took the brunt of all of it.  I did end up with some battle wounds:   I bit almost clear through my tongue, twisted my ankle, and tweaked my back.  I tried to nurse all of those yesterday, but I’m really feeling the brunt of the pain today.  And not being able to sing, talk, or practice trumpet is KILLING ME.  They say that the mouth heals faster than any other part of your body, so hop to it, body!  I can deal with the back and foot (although they are pretty damn painful), but the tongue is just really an inconvenience for everything:  the above mentioned plus eating, drinking, or brushing my teeth.

I’ve never had a seizure before and have no family history.  The ER tests couldn’t pinpoint why this has happened, so we’re kind of on the hunt for what’s going on right now.   The reason they are focusing most on is 1) my low iron levels and 2) that I may have bleeding ulcers again which triggered it.  I don’t feel like I do, but they are doing an upper GI next week to be sure, and I have a consultation with a neurologist as well.

Thankfully, there was no repeat yesterday. I rested for most of the day, trying to keep my foot up and iced and my back as relaxed as possible.  Jake, however, had to fix our plumbing.  Not only did he have to be strong for me on Sunday and watch the entire thing, but he had to do hard physical labor yesterday.  I just wanted him to be able to rest, but he has trouble doing that.  I am so extraordinarily lucky to have him as my husband.  Truly.

Today Jake went to work and I am home alone.  I feel fine and I’m hoping nothing happens while he’s at school.  Crossing my fingers that it was just a fluke thing, but also doing a ton of research today about seizures after weight loss surgery.

If you have a seizure as a post-op or know someone who has, please contact me.  I’d love to hear anything you’re comfortable sharing: any medical info you have about WHY you had a seizure as a post-op, when it happened, any info your doctor may have suggested, etc.   I just want to go in fully armed with info, because I know that almost always I have to advocate for myself as a wls post-op because doctors seem to know very little when I ask them questions.  Thanks for your help!

Day 2 of My Pitty Party. Is there hope?

Some of you yesterday read my blog about my +18 lbs regain.  Everyone was really supportive, and I’m thankful that I had a pretty-kick ass group of folks who area always willing to take a few moments of their day to send a quick note to help try and boost my spirits.  You havee no much that means to me, it really is helpful more than you think.

In the afternoon when my husband got home from work, I told him I was changing my diet pronto and going to lose weight.  He generally bucks against that because he really does find me attractive no matter what, but more so, he knows  I get a little cuckoo crazy with weight issues.  His exact response to me was this:

“You don’t eat that much, and really, you can eat whatever you want.  Your problem is that you need to exercise, and you know it.  Then you can eat whatever you want.”  (within reason, of course)

And honestly, he’s right.  I get up, got outside with the dogs and sometimes take them for long walks, but that’s really it.  I’ve stopped dancing, I don’t do even the most basic of exercises, and I’ve gradually stopped going in the pool.   Moving – exercising – I HATE it.  I’m very well aware of what foods, nutrients, vitamins, etc make my body work well. But none of it is going to make a huge difference if I just sit on my ass all day.  That’s going to have to change, and I’m finding it the hardest thing to get motivated to do.

Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque

Diva Taunia Dolls Burlesque

But then I had this idea:   I choreographed and taught burlesque and troupe dancing for months, and the weight just poured off.  I’ve considered contacting some local dance studios to see if it’s possible to start a class around here.  I haven’t even attempted that yet, it’s only in idea form right now.

But then I also had another idea:  what about  choreographing some songs, recording the teaching videos, and then maybe approaching the WLSFA about at least a one of song performance at the conference?  My dance troupes have always been open to any man or woman, of any size, any dance background (including NONE) , and making something spectacular with people who just always wanted to just TRY IT.  Try being on stage. With the comfort of many others in the same spot, with costuming (supplied for the most part by me), a real performance to look to, and a goal of getting moving and having fun and totally forgetting that you’re working out.

Here’s a little inquiry into how things used to run.  If anyone of you are full-fledged burlesque performers, you are most certainly welcome.  But for the rest of us the dancing, the costumes, and the “leave a lot to the imagination” is what we focus on.  There’s is no minimum amount of trying (if any at all) to participate.  You can start at any level, and will immediately be welcome with open arms by some of the most fantastic, supportive women you’ve ever met.

I would run the class one of two ways:  1) by renting a studio that people (anyone is welcome) could attend on a weekly basis. There would likely be a small free for the class just to help pay for the rental of the space.   and 2) lessons completely online (free) that both the in-class students at home could use to practice at home, and for those not in SoCal who really, really want to participate.

So here’s the big question:   WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING???   We’ve got a long way to go to April/May 2015, and it would be the perfect way to start.  Of course, the performance aspect needs to be presented  to the WLSFA, but even if we weren’t allowed to do it there, I’d find us another venue.

Please let me reiterate that EVERYONE is welcome.  The beauty of this show is that we celebrate REALY women (and men) of ALL AGES, SHAPES, AND SIZES, who just generally kick ass with their bravery and awesomeness.

If you think you might be interested, please leave a comment below with a way to connect to you OR PM or email me your address using the subject line:  “REAL WOMEN DANCE TROUP.”  (email to: info@divataunia.com)

A few things you may not know behind the scenes:  I run EVERYTHING.  The management, the production, securing the costumes, negotiating the contracts selecting the music, and almost 95 of the choreography.

I also ALWAYS accept performance ideas, music, and other ideas for suggestions.  I want people to feel like that have a real emotional investment in the group.  What started out as 5-6 friends talking about it, ended up in a 50-60 crew show that sold out three times.

If you’ve ever had an inkling to be onstage in a very supportive, loving, and strong friendship group – this is for you, I promise.

If I see interest, I am on it in lickety split time and we will get to work.

Show m your inner diva!



UGH. + 18 lbs

Well, shit.

I knew I had gained weight.  I had TWO people ask me “when I was due” this week, but I also knew because my clothes don’t fit, and I’m really just physically uncomfortable.  I’ve just had the perfect storm of menopause really starting to kick in, a change in my medications, and some personal stuff in my life that I’m not really comfortable talking about – all happen at once. (And no, it has nothing to do with my husband – we’re still happy and he’s a peach.)  And how have I dealt with it?   The same way that I always have:  EATING.

I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t me, because I’m still eating fairly small portions – but I’m DEFINITELY eating a lot of junk.  And I’m at home all day working on my computer and not moving at all.  Even taking the dogs for a walk has made me realize that I’m hella out of shape right now.

And I know you’ll all jump in to try and make me feel better, and while I REALLY, REALLY appreciate that, it’s not what I need.  I need accountability.  I need to start eating healthier and moving my body and not giving in to what’s simple and easy.

Yes, I know that in the grand scheme of things, I’m still a “success” at six and a half years out, but if I keep moving in the same direction I will not be. And 183 lbs in NOT cool with me, or my closet.

And by the way, to the two idiots who asked me if I was pregnant this week:  never EVER ask even if you have a single doubt.  I mean, hell, you can look right at me and know that I’m not really at baby-making age any more.  And besides that – though you couldn’t possibly know this – you only asking me if I am pregnant only serves to remind me of the sadness that I can’t have children.  And the absolute WRONG thing to say to someone after they say NO that they’re NOT pregnant is “oh, well you’re bigger than the last time I saw you.”  $^@#$^% @#$^!!!!

I’m directing my anger at them, but I’m trying to not fall into a pattern where I beat myself up and not figure out how to get this weight off.  It’s no secret – I mean, I have to eat better and exercise – but damn, I wish I didn’t have to.  It’s right back to where I started from.

It happens.  It happens to most of it.  If it’s happened to you and you’ve taken the weight back off, I’ve love to know how you did it, where you’re at, etc etc.  And if you haven’t been able to take it off, tell me about that too.  But let’s not beat ourselves up.  Let’s support each other and just do it.  Be healthy. Comments section open…

FAT ACCEPTANCE? “HAES” (Health At Every Size)?


TOPICS:  Fat Acceptence and HAES Movements

Today on the Backstage Pass Radio Program, I’ll be co-hosting the show with  good friend of mine.  Author Dagny Kight, of www.powerfulhunger.com, will be discussing a very topics that will likely ruffle some features.   We originally scheduled the program to talk about two very popular artcle we saw online, invited the authors and (surprise) were ignored.  Here are the  individual articles were were ininitially discussing:






From these articles, we then found ourselves smack dab in the Fat Acceptance and HAES Movements, and decided to feature today’s show on that.

We’ll be discussing The Fat Acceptance Movement and the HAES momvement.  Here’s some info from both:

FAT ACCEPTANCE:  http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to ending size discrimination in all of its forms. NAAFA’s goal is to help build a society in which people of every size are accepted with dignity and equality in all aspects of life. NAAFA will pursue this goal through advocacypublic education, and support.

—obesity research should be focused on improving the quality of life for fat people instead of weight loss

—the media and educational materials aimed at children should include fat positive role models

—public and private organizations and government agencies involved in recommending public health policy should consult the NAAFA for guidelines in protecting the interests of fat people

Where they appear to want to take choices away by defining these choices as unhealthy

—insurance coverage should not cover weight loss treatment including prescription drugs and surgery

—weight loss surgery should be “discontinued” as based on the usual inaccurate and old statistics

ASDAH’s HAES Principles reject judgments about health and any discourse of individual responsibility

HAES now rejects what is called “healthism,” the defining of what’s considered healthy or unhealthy. Again, HAES’s position is totally subjective and, I think, meaningless. How can we discuss health if we refuse to define it? I remember well a post by Marianne Kirby that argued we can’t judge a person who chooses a candy bar over an apple because we don’t know what informed their choice and we shouldn’t define foods as “healthy” or “unhealthy” as those definitions would extend to the people who choose the food.

Dangy and I woulod LOVE, LOVE, LOVE for you to join in the discussions You can call in at either  347-857-2052 or call into the show directly with Skype.  We welcome and thank you for participating in the discussion.


Wednesday, July 2nd @ NOON, PST
opens 15 minutes before showtime
Please email me at info@divataunia.com

Have ideas for talking points, questions, or discussion topics? Please email me or leave them in the comments section below.  Thanks!


I recently read a very interesting article by Marianne Kirby on xoJane called, “I’VE ONLY GOT 1 THING TO SAY TO FOLKS WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND FAT ACCEPTANCE,” which was a response article to Carolyn Hall’s “6 THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE FAT ACCEPTANCE MOVEMENT.”  The article has almost 600 comments – which are incredibly interesting, provocative and informative all at the same time.

As a former morbidly-obese woman (311+ lbs), I am incredibly sensitive to the bias and stigma against overweight people. However, I struggle with the terms and ideaologies that are core to the Fat Acceptance movement.

Today’s discussion will feature a panel of smart, intelligent folks from both sides of the table discussing the ideas and issues.  My aim is to keep the discussion respectful and moderated.  Interested in being on the panel?  Please email me at: info@divataunia.com.


Diva Taunia
Dagny Kight – author of Powerful Hunger
Stay tuned for more panelists!


Yesterday, my latest blog article was posted on the Wellesse blog, and I was inspired to run a little contest so that you could share your story and possibly win some Wellesse Liquid Bariatric Vitamins!

The blog article is about shapewear, and in the comments section, I shared a “funny” story about shapewear – I’m sure we all have them.  All you need to do to be entered into the raffle drawing is either 1) share your funny shapewear story or 2) share your favorite piece of shapewear (brand name and possibly a link if you have one).  That’s it!

Everyone who enters by Friday, April 4th at NOON PST will have a chance to win a full bottle of  Wellesse Multivitamin +, Joint Movement Glucosamine, Digestive Balance Aloe Vera, and some sample sizes of Iron, Calcium, and B12.

To enter, just click on the graphic below and it will take you directly to the article.  Scroll to the bottom and leave your story or shapewear favorite in the comments section.  Wellesse approves each comment, so don’t worry if you don’t see it right away – it will show up later after it’s approved.  Thanks for playing!

“The shape of things to come…”